I don’t know what I’m doing with myself, Everyday from nine to five I apply to as many jobs as I can find online, then sometime between five and nine if the house is empty I play some video games for my YouTube channel, I schedule my uploads to come out on specific days to give the illusion of stability. I haven’t been writing, I’ve been watching more tv than usual, typically between 7 and 10. from ten to twelve I try to do some dishes before bed, from ten or eleven until around 2 or 3 I wait for sleep to happen. I stare up at the stars on my ceiling and just wait. Why can’t I sleep? Why haven’t I been writing? Why does it all feel so pointless? I should have a job by now, I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, but I’m honestly afraid I’ll never succeed. And that’s why I can’t sleep, every time I try to write it ends up being about my fears and I just want to stop, I want to pretend it’s all gone, so I watch tv and I read and I play video games, and I hide from my problems.
If you enjoyed this rant, why not subscribe, or comment some advice to help out your friendly neighborhood echo.
Could be fun.