Ever feel uncertain as to what you’re feeling? I often do. I’ve found writing is the tool that clearifies thought and illuminates my emotional state. So let’s lighten up.
I have everything I want, or at least I’m starting to get all of that stuff. But I’m not happy, maybe it’s my unwavering hunger for more. No this isn’t that. Am I overwhelmed? No this isn’t that either. Wait I know, I’m terrified. Everything I’ve worked for, years of constant effort, it’s so close I can taste it. I’m scared my new opportunities are misderections from some cosmic trickster. My paranoia keeps whispering “too good to be true” and I have to ignore it and press on. Ignoring my internal voices isn’t a strong point for me, I like to have shouting matches in my head instead of counting sheep at night. But even if this is a trap, the bait is too good to pass up. Maybe, just maybe, it’s time for Echo to come out on top. I may even have my star for Christmas and all hallow’s eve. Such glorious string of events. Maybe it’s because I recently risked so much? Maybe the universe is more random than my isometric sand paper. Or maybe, someone up above does exist, and they don’t mind my lack of belief because despite pretending to be a terrible person, I do my best to be a good guy.
Why did I post this? I know why I wrote it, but making it public severs no purpose. Oh well.