No matter how hard I fight I’m always too slow, lacking in might and I’ve always known why.  In everything I do and every word I say, I’m fighting with myself first. I have spent my whole life learning to trust others but I’ve never seen fit to trust myself. I work very hard to see the goodness deep inside of everyone around me yet my goodness always seems so shallow.  If these chains ever weakened would I still be nice?  If I were free would I just sit around giving advice?  I think not, and I won’t risk it. I’ve always felt like a caged beast. But if everyone has only known me in this state am I the beast or the cage?  The reason people fear change is because deep down they know it means the death of how things used to be.  We try to focus on the birth of a new way, but we still feel that loss even when things are better post change. Am I happy? Am I grew?  What should I do? Am I the rage or the patience?  What makes an Echoshadow tick?

All the stars and all the apple juice, yet still I feel so incomplete. I haven’t lost sight of my goal, I’m just concerned. 



4 thoughts on “Rage

  1. I spent far too much of my life blindly trusting others, believing that there IS goodness in others and I should trust them until they prove or show me why I shouldn’t. I have a sensitive heart and soul; I have been beaten, bruised, lied to and used, stolen from and cheated on, my heart has been broken and my soul wounded from this type of thinking. My tender heart is much less tender these days, I only trust in what I can see and that which can be proven to me. I realize now that even if people have good in them, they don’t share it with just anybody. I am jaded and bitter, I don’t put myself out there like I once did and it’s much harder for me to make friends. I wasn’t happy before when people walked all over me. I’m not happy now because I see people more for who they really are and have very few friends. Life is hard.

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