I don’t think I’m capable of happiness anymore, at least not on my own, luckily I feel empathy. I’m only ever experiencing the happiness of those around me. I like to think this was a positive deleopment. now I have to help others to feel any sense of joy. I don’t know maybe I should write more blog stuff, maybe if people read this and enjoy it, I can experience their enjoyment, or maybe I should try to start a charity. I feel like I’m being selfish either way, I’m not trying to help anyone but myself, you’re all just rungs on the ladder to my happiness. I am using each and every one of you when I tell a stupid joke and you giggle or confess an emotion and you experience relief at not being the only one. Am I a good person? Is it better for me to be miserable rather than act selfishly? Or is the effect of my action more important than the motivations? Why would I know?